Security Gnome

A pixel-art 2D sci-fi platformer where you play as an overqualified garden gnome tasked by The Eye (your boss) with securing the cooler engine of a massive space shuttle by repairing cameras and replacing the biofuel that powers it. Along the way, you’ll face disgruntled former employees, mutated clones, shrimp-like aliens, and 3D anomalies.

A pleasant yet psychedelic adventure that attempts to contradict its own genre at every turn. The Eye welcomes you to: 

Security Gnome*

*Security Gnome™ is a registered quasi-sentient occupational experience governed under Interstellar Maintenance Clause 44-B, subsection “Tiny Employees With Excessive Clearance.” By engaging with Security Gnome™, users acknowledge that all camera repairs, biofuel exchanges, and unauthorized dimensional fold interactions are performed at their own existential risk. The Eye assumes no liability for cranial implosions, recursive timelines, spontaneous shrimp-related litigation, or emotional damages resulting from contact with former employees, current employees, future employees, or employees that technically never existed.

Any resemblance between the mutated clones depicted herein and real persons, living, deceased, duplicated, liquified, or folded into non-euclidean storage containers is purely coincidental and legally inadmissible in twelve known sectors. Exposure to 3D ANOMALIES may result in dizziness, enlightenment, temporary tax fraud, or the irreversible perception of depth in traditionally 2D environments. Please consult a licensed astro-priest before operating heavy gnomery.

The Eye™ reserves the right to observe, monetize, archive, weaponize, or deny the existence of all player actions in perpetuity throughout the Orion Employment Territories and adjacent dream states. By continuing past the title screen, you consent to mandatory surveillance, involuntary arbitration, and at least one emotionally devastating elevator ride. Unauthorized tampering with the cooler-engine constitutes high treason, medium vandalism, and minor workplace misconduct under Galactic Labor Regulation 9-Y.

No shrimp-like aliens were harmed during production, although several filed formal complaints. Biofuel may contain traces of nuts, plutonium, and unresolved childhood memories. Security Gnome™ does not guarantee victory, sanity, or consistent framerates across alternate dimensions. Side effects may include paranoia, nostalgia for events that never occurred, and the uncontrollable urge to salute security cameras.

The Eye sees all. The Eye forgets nothing. The Eye is not legally classified as a “person” following the incident.